Golf handicap

April 30, 2007

I have now played 3 rounds and am eligible for a handicap. Looking at my scores all this does is confirm how rubbish I am! I can look back on 3 rounds and the missed putts, sliced drives and underhit pitches and think “if only…” So, although my official handicap might be 28 my real handicap is being inconsistent.

What I really need to do is play more and get more course experience. It is very different from the driving range. Looking down an 18th fairway at a flag 535 yards away is much more daunting. Trying to play a ball out of the rough, on a slope, into a head wind is much more challenging. The summer is approaching, the nights are getting lighter, this year is shaping up to be a golfing year. It could be a whole lot worse.

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Birthdays

April 30, 2007

Today is my son’s birthday. I should have had them to stay this last weekend but my ex decided that she’d have his birthday party on my weekend. Anway, I get to see them tonight and take them out to eat. I am fully expecting the same situation as last year; his presents will be taken with us to the restaurant and opened there. You might as well put up a neon sign saying “separated Dad and kids” over our table, but as long he has a great time then no harm done, or is there?

Christmas and birthdays are a source of disagreement, anger, frustration and recrimination these days. As the kids don’t live with me I rely on their mother “playing fair” with access. This is a folorn hope. Getting to see my own children on their birthdays is a battle, getting to see them over Christmas a bigger battle. The first Christmas I was told in no uncertain terms that I would not be seeing them on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. Last year was better in that I picked them up on Boxing Day but only had them for a couple of days. What impact does this have on the children? The battles are always about whether or not I get to see them, not about if they get to see me. They need and want contact with me as much as I need and want it with them. This bit seems to get forgotten all too easily.

Golf

April 22, 2007

Golf must be the most frustrating game on the planet.

I think the frustration comes about as it is you, a stick and a ball. No-one else to blame, no-one else to put the effort in if you’re not quite on form, basically nowhere to hide. This also makes it one of the greatest games as well. You get to compete on multiple levels; it’s you against the other player but also you against yourself.

Yesterday I played my best ever round hitting 100 shots, my previous best being 110. My drive is wildy erratic but all of a sudden the mid-iron game came together. As for my putting…less said the better….4 putted….twice!

Can’t wait for the next round now.

On being a weekend dad

April 20, 2007

For me, it’s an emotional rollercoaster. I went from tucking my kids in each night to seeing them for 4 nights a month and that’s hard on everyone involved. The youngest tells me how much he misses mummy when he stays with me, the eldest tells me how much he’s missed me since the last time they stayed. We try to pack things into a weekend but at the same time I don’t want to spoil them. We still have the “naughty step”, early nights when especially unruly but we also have our own routines and special things – movies before bed being the favourite (although they do have a strange thing about watching half before bed and the end of the film with breakfast in the morning).

When they’re not here I have their photos around the house and a bedroom littered with toys to remind me of the chaos 2 small kids can cause in minutes, never mind hours. Their room feels different to the rest of the house – it feels like theirs and their presence is there. Sometimes that’s comforting, sometimes it’s depressing.

The absolute worst thing is being completely at the mercy of their mother when it comes to access. Christmas and birthdays are the worst as if she decides that it’s “not convenient” for me to see them there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it. Before anyone mentions court orders it’s worth remembering that no mother that flaunts a court order granting a father access has ever had action taken against her, or at least not to my knowledge.

Hello

April 18, 2007

Welcome to my blog. The title comes from the first thing my 4 year old usually says as he comes bounding into my bedroom, it’s met more often than not with the stock reply of “No it’s not, go back to bed!”