April 30, 2007

Today is my son’s birthday. I should have had them to stay this last weekend but my ex decided that she’d have his birthday party on my weekend. Anway, I get to see them tonight and take them out to eat. I am fully expecting the same situation as last year; his presents will be taken with us to the restaurant and opened there. You might as well put up a neon sign saying “separated Dad and kids” over our table, but as long he has a great time then no harm done, or is there?

Christmas and birthdays are a source of disagreement, anger, frustration and recrimination these days. As the kids don’t live with me I rely on their mother “playing fair” with access. This is a folorn hope. Getting to see my own children on their birthdays is a battle, getting to see them over Christmas a bigger battle. The first Christmas I was told in no uncertain terms that I would not be seeing them on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. Last year was better in that I picked them up on Boxing Day but only had them for a couple of days. What impact does this have on the children? The battles are always about whether or not I get to see them, not about if they get to see me. They need and want contact with me as much as I need and want it with them. This bit seems to get forgotten all too easily.

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